double digits, baby

10 miles. i did it! seriously, can't believe it! and i actually felt good like i could've gone a bit longer if i had too....but i didn't. but it was a great encouragement to know that i could run for 90 minutes and only stop twice for a minute or two.

God is building up my confidence little by little. and isn't that just so like Him? sometimes i think i expect these big miraculous signs or unbelievable circumstances from God, when really, i think He shows himself to me when i take little steps of faith...not necessarily grand leaps. don't get me wrong, i think plenty can be said for leaps of faith, but i think sometimes God just wants the steps. even if they're baby steps. b/c either way, leaps or steps, i am still trusting God to show me what to do. in my 30 years of living, i am just now seeing how trusting God might just be the best way to show him that i love him. for my whole life, i feel like i've always tried to do the right thing; in the eyes of God and others...and sometimes those eyes were of equal importance, sad to say. now, instead of trying to figure out what the "right" thing to do is, i may just trust where God is leading me. instead of asking is it right, i'll ask is it what God wants from me. i think there are lots of things that the world deems the "right thing to do" but it may not necessarily be what God wants me to do. but, at this moment, i think God wants me to train. yes, in running, but also in His Word. i think i need to equip myself better with knowing the character of God so when he does things i don't understand, i can still trust Him b/c i know the kind of guy He is. and making my mind ready with specific examples from his Word would be more helpful to me than anything else. i wish i knew the Bible better so i would know exactly where to go in times of need. so all that to say, i'm working on training the body and the mind.

and on a side note, i think i've decided to wear some sort of spandex on race day...couldn't do the frontal wedgie shorts. far too long a run to be picking at my crotch every other stride. and the pure volume of people that may see the frontal wedgie is just too much to bear; i would be crushed under all the pity smiles and "bless your hearts". and for those of you unfamiliar with the southern "bless your heart", it's a nice way of saying "you're an idiot".

shouldn't this be getting easier?

so my assumption was that once i had gotten used to running, it would get easier. not so, my friends. i still want to cut my legs off in the first 20 minutes. now, if i continue running past 20 minutes it does get better and it doesn't feel like i have grown tree trunks for legs. but i also think i may have shin splints or something b/c they hurt really bad for the first couple of miles. but enough complaining...

so i just had an "oh crap" moment the other day. i realized this race is just a month away. 4 little weeks. fear has begun to creep in. i am definitely getting nervous that i might actually die trying to finish this race. i mean, i've only run 8 miles up to this point. this weekend i think i'll be upping it to 10 miles b/c i'm starting to freak out that i really may not finish the 13.1 miles in 4 wks.

on a positive note, i went running last night and the male runners were much more courteous. so glad they found their manners. or maybe they were pity smiling at me b/c my shorts kept riding up on one side....in the front. real nice. i'm sure they thought, "oh poor girl, she looks like a sweaty blob AND her shorts are giving her a front wedgie. i'll be nice and smile at her." thanks. i'll take whatever i can get!

proper etiquette

so we ran a little over 7 miles today and i didn't want to die!!! yay! no really, it wasn't that bad and i felt pretty good afterwards. i am always amazed when i finished that i actually ran that much. i mean, 3 months ago i was working up to 2 miles. the Lord is continually showing me that by His power i can do things that i don't necessarily feel like i can do.

on another note, every time i run i wonder if i am using proper running etiquette. are you supposed to wave and smile when you pass a fellow runner? do you give them the "stare ahead"? or do you just look down at the ground? i typically wave or give a slight smile and i always get mixed reactions. some people smile back, others pretend they don't see me (which this really kind of hacks me off, i mean, who are you, johnny runsalot, that you can't raise your hand up in a wave or just turn the corners of your mouth up into a smile? is this really so taxing a task?). and i've noticed usually females runners will smile back, but many male runners don't...typically, they pretend they don't see me at all. i understand that i look like a sweaty mess, but really, show some manners. i haven't been part of the running world for very long so maybe it works differently than the outside world where people are at least cordial to one another. i did have a guy give me a fist pump once after i had just run up mt. everest (ok, not really mt. everest, but it seemed awfully steep). and i have to admit, i was a fan of the fist pump. it was like he was telling me "press on, sista!" so, in light of the fist pump, i will press on!

a case of the slivers

so, this past weekend i had a sinus infection so i couldn't do my long run. i can't say that i was sad about it. no, no, sad definitely isn't the word. i have been enjoying running thus far, but the long runs are just that, long. but i did manage to run 4 miles last night and felt really good afterwards. i am loving the warmer weather outside! it's so nice not to bundle up just to take it off later when you start getting sweaty. unfortunately, the rest of the week looks like rain so i may be running on a treadmill. and yes, you can call me a weinie if you want, but i do not like running with rain in my face.

on a side note, i may be the first person in history who does not lose weight when training for a half marathon. i made a pound cake 2 days ago and it's half gone. death by sliver. it gets me every time. i feel like i can eat all day if i just eat a little bit each time. i would never eat 3 pieces of cake in one day...that would be absurd! but 7 slivers in one day, well, for some reason in my brain that doesn't seem as bad. now, my husband has eaten a piece or two but i really can't place the blame on him, as much as i'd like to...i'm pretty sure he only eats desserts to make me feel better anyway. this way i can say i didn't eat the whole thing by myself (him: "what happened to the cake?" me: "we ate it all." him: "i only ate 2 pieces" me: "yeah, i know, WE ate it all. what? why are you giving me that look?") oh well, maybe next time, i'll ask the Holy Spirit to take away my sweet tooth.

it's all in the training

since i don't know where to start, i guess i'll start in the middle since that's where i currently reside. about 3 months ago i started training for a half marathon. if you know me, you know this is quite out of character. i am not really one to just up and do a half marathon. to be honest, i'm not one to really run anywhere...unless, i'm being chased by rabid dogs, of course. so, for me, this is a big deal.

last year, i went on a trip with my best friends from high school and learned something very profound. i learned that i have access to the power of Jesus Christ through his Holy Spirit that lives inside of me. And for the last 10 months, that revelation has changed my life. i have always known this truth but i guess i've never really applied it to my own life. in my life, i tend to be safe. i make safe choices. i give decisions a lot of thought. and this may seem like a fine way to live, except that lately, for me, fine's not good enough anymore. i want more out of this life. i need more out of this life. i think when Jesus told us in his Word that he wanted to give us an abundant life, i don't think he meant "safe" or "fine".

after that trip i started really thinking, "what if i actually believed in the POWER of the Holy Spirit?" what if rather than living in fear, i lived with confidence. what if i actually believed in myself; that i'm capable of doings things that scare me. what if i lived with reckless abandon. what if instead of letting my fear of failure guide my decisions, i let the Holy Spirit dictate what i can and can't do. what if.

so, with this newfound courage and confidence, i decided to run a half marathon. and because i feel like the Spirit led me to this place, i feel i should honor that and document my journey. this way, hopefully, i won't forget what it's like to really live dependent on Christ to get me through. i began this training by only being able to run 1 mile...i am now up to 7 miles. it has become evident to me that in order to reach my goal, training is the key. in the beginning, 13 and 1/2 miles seemed an impossible task to overcome. now, it's a goal within reach. it's all in the training.