to begin this post, i have to mention that i've been so incredibly blessed to have had all 4 of my grandparents up until this past february when i lost my grandaddy. and because we lived about 30-45 min. away from both sets we saw them a lot growing up. now that one of them has passed, i realize that i've taken them for granted for many years. just kind of assuming they'd always be around. but now that my mamaw is living alone in the house she and my grandaddy shared, i think about her a lot. i don't necessarily worry about her...she's pretty self sufficient and doesn't need any help getting around. but i do think about what it would be like to lose the person you share your day with. my grandparents have been retired for many years, so they were together a lot. they were also married for close to 60 years...unbelievable! so to not have that person around anymore, i think about her not having someone to talk to. she has 4 kids and many grandkids so i know she is well taken care of. but nonetheless, i've been calling her. i try to call in the evening if it's not too terribly crazy at my house b/c i would imagine that's when it gets lonely. when the day is almost done. you've been busying yourself all day and then it's the night...and no one else is there with you anymore. we don't talk about anything too terribly important. but i must say, i really enjoy talking to her! she's quite the funny lady! and i really do wish i had been calling her more regularly throughout my life. she has much wisdom to impart and since i'm her grandkid, she's always encouraging me and telling me how much she loves me...who doesn't love that? anyway, this is one of the things i did this week and really, it felt more like she was blessing me. funny how when you give, it always seems to come back to you.
in other news, i was running this week, yes, running and i saw a turtle in the middle of the road. now, something you have to understand about me is that i'm not really an animal person. i mean, i like dogs, if they're not too big and don't jump all over me. but cats, they can lick themselves into oblivion for all i care. birds, kinda freak me out. bugs, well, i hate them...for some reason i think a cockroach could very literally multiply in size and attack me at any moment. and reptiles, well, they're scaly and just kinda gross. so, when i saw this turtle i stopped for about half a second and thought, "poor guy, maybe i should get him to some grass." then, on second thought, "nah, he'll make it across. this street's not too busy." so i continue my sorry excuse for a run...who knew one could get so out of shape in a little over a month? pathetic, i know. so i take a few ragged strides forward and i look ahead. oh no. the turtle's buddy. very unfortunate fate for this little guy. death by tire smooshing. i turn around and look at the turtle i left behind. guilt seizes me. i run back and say a quick prayer that he won't get a go-go gadget neck to turn and bite me when i pick him up. i pick him up about as far back on the shell as i can get, just in case this is some sort of super turtle with a crane neck (hey, you never know). then i place him in the grass. and yes, this was my act of kindness. lame to some, but for me quite courageous since i totally got the heebie jeebies about picking him up. then i continue on in the torturing of my body and look to my left. there to my left is one of the most horrifying of all of God's creatures. a vulture. waiting for me to pass so he can go dig in to my turtle's buddy (yes, he is now "my" turtle). ewwwwww. if i didn't have the heebies before i definitely have them now! so i run as fast as i can for about 10 seconds just to get away from the massacre that's about to take place. disgusting. but glad at least one turtle was saved from such a brutality. gold star.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
target fun
so i have to confess, i've been a bit of a slacker the last few days. i've felt crappy from a sinus infection and it was really all i could do to leave the house yesterday to run a few errands. so please forgive me. i have not given up on my acts of kindness, but i did miss a few days from being sick. but i did have fun today at target...well, to be honest, i always have fun at target. it's like my mini disneyworld that is just a few minutes from my house. i mean, seriously, everything you need in one store? who doesn't love that? so, i decided that this might actually be something that could sort of involve my children without sending me over the edge.
when i was clipping coupons this morning i decided, "you know, it might be nice to clip some of the coupons i don't use and tape them to the products at the store. i know i LOVE it when that happens to me, so why not do it for someone else." so most of the coupons i cut were for non-food items like razors, lotions, medicines, etc. (no i am not ashy with hairy legs, i just don't use these particular products). so when we got to the store i let the kids tape the coupon on the product. this, of course, led to fighting but luckily there were enough to go around so it wasn't too chaotic. i have no idea if anyone else appreciates this but me; but i've seen those crazy couponers with their baseball card notebooks full of all the precious savings they find on the internet and in the paper. they would never pay full price for any item no matter how much it is necessary to your life. no coupon for toothpaste? they'll use baking soda. no toilet paper? use paper towels...and pray like mad that it flushes. out of soap? just use shampoo, no one will know the difference. i'm only kidding, well, except for the paper towel thing... sometimes you just forget to buy toilet paper. i can't make too much fun of these folks b/c in the last 6 months i've become a couponer myself. now since i'm only a rookie, i just use the little wallet-size accordian file folder thing. but i'm getting pretty good at it and saving money...which my husband is always a big fan of. but anyway, today's act of kindness was for the crazy couponers! and yes, it is impolite to sigh and foot tap when these people check out. just b/c you didn't plan ahead and clip 20 coupons to save $8 dollars does not mean you need to be nasty.
when i was clipping coupons this morning i decided, "you know, it might be nice to clip some of the coupons i don't use and tape them to the products at the store. i know i LOVE it when that happens to me, so why not do it for someone else." so most of the coupons i cut were for non-food items like razors, lotions, medicines, etc. (no i am not ashy with hairy legs, i just don't use these particular products). so when we got to the store i let the kids tape the coupon on the product. this, of course, led to fighting but luckily there were enough to go around so it wasn't too chaotic. i have no idea if anyone else appreciates this but me; but i've seen those crazy couponers with their baseball card notebooks full of all the precious savings they find on the internet and in the paper. they would never pay full price for any item no matter how much it is necessary to your life. no coupon for toothpaste? they'll use baking soda. no toilet paper? use paper towels...and pray like mad that it flushes. out of soap? just use shampoo, no one will know the difference. i'm only kidding, well, except for the paper towel thing... sometimes you just forget to buy toilet paper. i can't make too much fun of these folks b/c in the last 6 months i've become a couponer myself. now since i'm only a rookie, i just use the little wallet-size accordian file folder thing. but i'm getting pretty good at it and saving money...which my husband is always a big fan of. but anyway, today's act of kindness was for the crazy couponers! and yes, it is impolite to sigh and foot tap when these people check out. just b/c you didn't plan ahead and clip 20 coupons to save $8 dollars does not mean you need to be nasty.
Monday, May 17, 2010
fun with strangers
so, i'm sorry i haven't posted in a while but it seems that i'm not so much a multi-tasker. not really a news flash to me, but some of you may not have known that about me. but rest assured, i am still doing my little acts of kindness. last week, i did a lot of note writing. i found that after spending a small fortune at the grocery store on the sandwich debacle, i may need to find a way to love my neighbor without putting my family in the poor house. so i've been writing notes. really just notes to friends and family. i think i like it b/c i'm not very good at affirming people verbally. i'm much better on paper (or a cute notecard from anthropologie...their home section makes me happy). i'm sort of a thoughtless person when it comes to that. it's not that i don't think nice things about people; it just doesn't really dawn on me to tell them. i wish i were better at it b/c who doesn't love a word of encouragement every now and then. for example, i know it would make my day if someone told me, "you can't even see your muffin top in that shirt!" well, maybe not. anyway, so i've written some notes for some people in my life; just telling them how they've encouraged me in my journey.
but i have to say, my favorite acts have been to strangers. i think it's b/c i'm a person that loves to be surprised. so, instead of being the surprisee, i got to be the surpriser. if you have not done this, it's really fun. i went and got ice cream last weekend by myself and a mother and son walked in. immediately, i got nervous. i knew i wanted to buy their ice cream but i was getting kind of embarrassed about asking if i could. and for those of you who don't know, i flush very easily so it's not hard to tell when i'm nervous. so as the mom was getting out her wallet to pay i just asked if it would be ok if i bought their ice cream. she, then, proceeded to look at me like i was definitely from outer space. she was quite baffled at why i would want to do that. i told her i just really wanted to. so she let me and was very gracious about it, as was her son. then she told me, "i guess people are right about the south, they are nice here". then she told me her family had just moved from wisconsin. and i thought, well God, you just always seem to know what you're doing don't you? it always amazes me how God knows exactly what we need when we need it. another fun thing was buying coffe for the person behind me in the drive thru at starbucks. someone did it for me not long ago and it totally made my day! why are we so surprised when people are nice? i know i am. when someone i don't know does something nice for me, i'm always shocked, like truly shocked. this is not how it should be friends. it's so easy for me to get caught up in my bubble and not notice the people around me. and i can get the attitude of "i take care of my business, you should take care of yours". i'm pretty sure this is not a "love thy neighbor" attitude. so, friends, i encourage you to be a good neighbor and shock someone today!
but i have to say, my favorite acts have been to strangers. i think it's b/c i'm a person that loves to be surprised. so, instead of being the surprisee, i got to be the surpriser. if you have not done this, it's really fun. i went and got ice cream last weekend by myself and a mother and son walked in. immediately, i got nervous. i knew i wanted to buy their ice cream but i was getting kind of embarrassed about asking if i could. and for those of you who don't know, i flush very easily so it's not hard to tell when i'm nervous. so as the mom was getting out her wallet to pay i just asked if it would be ok if i bought their ice cream. she, then, proceeded to look at me like i was definitely from outer space. she was quite baffled at why i would want to do that. i told her i just really wanted to. so she let me and was very gracious about it, as was her son. then she told me, "i guess people are right about the south, they are nice here". then she told me her family had just moved from wisconsin. and i thought, well God, you just always seem to know what you're doing don't you? it always amazes me how God knows exactly what we need when we need it. another fun thing was buying coffe for the person behind me in the drive thru at starbucks. someone did it for me not long ago and it totally made my day! why are we so surprised when people are nice? i know i am. when someone i don't know does something nice for me, i'm always shocked, like truly shocked. this is not how it should be friends. it's so easy for me to get caught up in my bubble and not notice the people around me. and i can get the attitude of "i take care of my business, you should take care of yours". i'm pretty sure this is not a "love thy neighbor" attitude. so, friends, i encourage you to be a good neighbor and shock someone today!
Saturday, May 8, 2010
sandwiches
well, this week kicked off my 40 acts of kindness in 40 days. i've been grateful that when i've asked God what he wants me to do He has answered. and with the nashville flood, i should be able to find plenty to do! so this week i've watched my neighbors' kids b/c she had to take one of hers to the emergency room, wrote a letter thanking one of my childhood doctors who took very good care of me when i was quite sick, got clothes together for a family that lost their home in the flood and i made sandwiches. yes, sandwiches.
considering all that's gone on in nashville, i wanted my 1st act of kindness to be for some people who lost their homes in the flood. so i got my kids together and told them that we were going to take lunch to one of the red cross shelters in the franklin area. we head to the grocery to get all the things we'll need to make sandwiches, bags of chips and bottled water. at this point i'm feeling a bit proud of myself thinking, "look at me, mother of the year, teaching her children to help those in need. gold star." well, that attitude quickly dissipates when i'm snapping at my kids to "quit putting your hands all over the deli meat! only one piece of cheese on the sandwiches! no you can't eat the cheese! quit licking your fingers!" and on, and on, and on. obviously, i had to cash in my gold star. letting my kids help me was completely stressing me out! i was being the complete opposite of kind. so after much handwashing and apologies to my children we had made 40+ sandwiches to take to the shelter.
i had called the red cross that morning to get a better idea of what i should bring and where i should bring it. but after the fifth time on hold and someone directing me to an answering machine, i hung up and decided i would just bring what i wanted and that would just have to be ok.
around 11:15 i get my kids and the food loaded in the car and we're off. i first need to mention that i had originally thought i would take the food to our local fire station so they could deliver it to the best possible location. incorrect assumption. yeah, they don't really do that. thanks, snotty brentwood, for really lending a helping hand. so i ask where the closest shelter is and they direct me to franklin.
get kids back in the car and head south. we show up at the church/shelter and figure out where to park and go in. i give my 3 yr old daughter a bag of sandwiches to carry b/c this makes her feel like she's important and helpful. i go to the red cross desk and tell them "hi, i've made some lunches for the people staying here. i was wondering where i need to put them?" i am met with this:"we only accept certain food here. we can't take your sandwiches." and this is where i wanted to melt into a teeny, tiny puddle and disappear. my pitiful looking daughter and her sad bag of sandwiches would have felt the same way, except she's not old enough to understand what complete humiliation looks like. hallelujah. she then went on to tell me:"we only have 2 people here so, we really don't need that much food anyway." insert here: THINGS I WISH I HAD KNOWN BEFORE I MADE 40+ SANDWICHES! another item on this list, YOU DON'T ACCEPT SANDWICHES! i really almost started crying at this point. this little good deed that had me so puffed up with pride had taken me all morning. it had caused me extreme stress. it had made me bite my kids' heads off and later apologize. and you're telling me you're not going to accept any of my friggin kindness! and then, what i can only assume was an angel of the Lord came in and said:"you know, i'm going back to our local office and would be happy to take your food. they distribute it where it needs to go." insert here: beam of sunlight shining down on sweet woman. i'm so thankful for this sweet woman who seemed to understand that i was completely deflated with my 3 kids standing by watching. she graciously brought her car around and we put the food in the back of her car. and yes, 3 yr old daughter proudly handed her the bag of sandwiches she had helped mom make.
when we got in the car to drive home, i found myself crying. not sobbing, but weepy crying. you know, the pitiful kind. feeling sorry for myself b/c my act of kindness went seemingly unappreciated. i was sad. my grand gesture was a flop. when i look back on this moment in the car, i realize what i should have been sad about was not the fact that my sandwiches went unappreciated; i should be sad about the fact that i completely missed the point of this whole experiment. instead of doing something gracious for someone else, i had made this act about me. i had made it ugly b/c i really wanted credit for my time spent making something for someone in need. i thought i was some kind of big deal for doing something nice. well, "bless my heart"! (southern speak for "you're an idiot!") i'm so grateful that i serve a God that teaches humility. well, at that moment in the car i wasn't, but looking back i'm glad he did. if he had not humbled me, i would have gone on being pretty proud of myself for being such a good samaritan, giving no credit to God for what he did through me. is anyone else having deja vu....does the half marathon ring any bells? how quickly i forget. it's not about me. doing good for others is not about me...it's about being the hands and feet of Jesus. i should be doing things not so i can think i'm pretty great but to let others know that He's pretty great.
the next day during my devotion i came across a verse that put me in my place. it says: "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work in us, to him be the glory..." eph. 3:20-21. i wanted the glory for 40 sandwiches. seriously? this verse just told me that if i let him use his power through me....well, i wouldn't be bragging about no stinkin' sandwiches, b/c he would be doing much much more through me. i think the difference is that during this act, my heart wasn't in what my hands were doing. i think when your heart is in what your hands and feet are doing, that's when the selflessness comes. that's when God makes stuff happen. so, i resolve to do better. not b/c i can, but b/c i believe jesus can. "He must become greater, i must become less."
considering all that's gone on in nashville, i wanted my 1st act of kindness to be for some people who lost their homes in the flood. so i got my kids together and told them that we were going to take lunch to one of the red cross shelters in the franklin area. we head to the grocery to get all the things we'll need to make sandwiches, bags of chips and bottled water. at this point i'm feeling a bit proud of myself thinking, "look at me, mother of the year, teaching her children to help those in need. gold star." well, that attitude quickly dissipates when i'm snapping at my kids to "quit putting your hands all over the deli meat! only one piece of cheese on the sandwiches! no you can't eat the cheese! quit licking your fingers!" and on, and on, and on. obviously, i had to cash in my gold star. letting my kids help me was completely stressing me out! i was being the complete opposite of kind. so after much handwashing and apologies to my children we had made 40+ sandwiches to take to the shelter.
i had called the red cross that morning to get a better idea of what i should bring and where i should bring it. but after the fifth time on hold and someone directing me to an answering machine, i hung up and decided i would just bring what i wanted and that would just have to be ok.
around 11:15 i get my kids and the food loaded in the car and we're off. i first need to mention that i had originally thought i would take the food to our local fire station so they could deliver it to the best possible location. incorrect assumption. yeah, they don't really do that. thanks, snotty brentwood, for really lending a helping hand. so i ask where the closest shelter is and they direct me to franklin.
get kids back in the car and head south. we show up at the church/shelter and figure out where to park and go in. i give my 3 yr old daughter a bag of sandwiches to carry b/c this makes her feel like she's important and helpful. i go to the red cross desk and tell them "hi, i've made some lunches for the people staying here. i was wondering where i need to put them?" i am met with this:"we only accept certain food here. we can't take your sandwiches." and this is where i wanted to melt into a teeny, tiny puddle and disappear. my pitiful looking daughter and her sad bag of sandwiches would have felt the same way, except she's not old enough to understand what complete humiliation looks like. hallelujah. she then went on to tell me:"we only have 2 people here so, we really don't need that much food anyway." insert here: THINGS I WISH I HAD KNOWN BEFORE I MADE 40+ SANDWICHES! another item on this list, YOU DON'T ACCEPT SANDWICHES! i really almost started crying at this point. this little good deed that had me so puffed up with pride had taken me all morning. it had caused me extreme stress. it had made me bite my kids' heads off and later apologize. and you're telling me you're not going to accept any of my friggin kindness! and then, what i can only assume was an angel of the Lord came in and said:"you know, i'm going back to our local office and would be happy to take your food. they distribute it where it needs to go." insert here: beam of sunlight shining down on sweet woman. i'm so thankful for this sweet woman who seemed to understand that i was completely deflated with my 3 kids standing by watching. she graciously brought her car around and we put the food in the back of her car. and yes, 3 yr old daughter proudly handed her the bag of sandwiches she had helped mom make.
when we got in the car to drive home, i found myself crying. not sobbing, but weepy crying. you know, the pitiful kind. feeling sorry for myself b/c my act of kindness went seemingly unappreciated. i was sad. my grand gesture was a flop. when i look back on this moment in the car, i realize what i should have been sad about was not the fact that my sandwiches went unappreciated; i should be sad about the fact that i completely missed the point of this whole experiment. instead of doing something gracious for someone else, i had made this act about me. i had made it ugly b/c i really wanted credit for my time spent making something for someone in need. i thought i was some kind of big deal for doing something nice. well, "bless my heart"! (southern speak for "you're an idiot!") i'm so grateful that i serve a God that teaches humility. well, at that moment in the car i wasn't, but looking back i'm glad he did. if he had not humbled me, i would have gone on being pretty proud of myself for being such a good samaritan, giving no credit to God for what he did through me. is anyone else having deja vu....does the half marathon ring any bells? how quickly i forget. it's not about me. doing good for others is not about me...it's about being the hands and feet of Jesus. i should be doing things not so i can think i'm pretty great but to let others know that He's pretty great.
the next day during my devotion i came across a verse that put me in my place. it says: "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work in us, to him be the glory..." eph. 3:20-21. i wanted the glory for 40 sandwiches. seriously? this verse just told me that if i let him use his power through me....well, i wouldn't be bragging about no stinkin' sandwiches, b/c he would be doing much much more through me. i think the difference is that during this act, my heart wasn't in what my hands were doing. i think when your heart is in what your hands and feet are doing, that's when the selflessness comes. that's when God makes stuff happen. so, i resolve to do better. not b/c i can, but b/c i believe jesus can. "He must become greater, i must become less."
Monday, May 3, 2010
40 day experiment
40 days. lots can happen in 40 days. moses was up on a mountain with God for 40 days. noah was in an ark in the midst of a flood for 40 days (after the weekend we had in nashville, i have no idea how he survived that! maybe that's where the term "cabin fever" came about..hmmm....) jesus lived in the wilderness and fasted for 40 days. you get the idea. so for whatever reason, i feel like God is leading me in a particular path of obedience; one that will require specific action on my part. and if you know me at all, you know i'm not really a "take action" kinda girl. i'm perfectly happy to stay in my comfort zone...until recently. lately, i've been feeling like God wants me to step out in faith. i feel like there are some things He wants to teach me but i have to be willing to obey and trust that He's in control.
so here's the idea, 40 acts of kindness in 40 days. for the next 40 days, i will be performing an act of kindness every day. not necessarily grand gestures, but acts that are atypical for me. and let me be clear, this is not an attempt to build my ego or make others think i'm such a good christian...quite the opposite. i've realized that i tend to obey God's command to "love thy neighbor" when it is convenient for me and really only if it's someone i know. lame, i know. i have a million excuses for why i can't serve i.e. i have 3 kids, i have a schedule, i have too many errands, etc. all of these things may be true, but God didn't really say in his word "love thy neighbor when you get a minute and aren't busy and you're well-rested and all caught up on your laundry". i think if i turn my focus off my own life and onto being available for God's using, i might just learn a little something. like i said before, i'm not looking for daily grand gestures. i'm looking for something that takes my focus off myself.
i'm not sure how this will look on the blog. i don't know if i'll post every day or every couple of days. all i know is, God's going to show up. i don't know how or when, but i know if i show up, so will he (kinda sounds like laundry... i know if i ever want to do it, there are dirty clothes to wash. wait, did i just compare God to dirty laundry? still in need of grace, friends. i don't think he takes personal offense though....he knows i want him to show up; not so much the dirty laundry).
i actually started the 40 day experiment today. i will post about it later but i hope it gets better b/c today was rough. but tomorrow is a new day and i'm hopeful.
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